I recently turned 28 years old š„³
So I thought Iād do a roundup of the best life advice Iāve gathered during my 28 years on this planet. š
āļø1. Set Intentional Defaults
Most of the time, we just do the same stuff weāve always done. All day, every day.
In other words, your defaultsĀ govern your behaviour.
So, settingĀ newĀ defaults can be pretty powerful. I also find that āswitching my defaultsā feels less like hard work than ābuilding new habitsā.
Here are some examples of setting intentional defaults:
- Deciding to keep your phone in another room during family meals, to be more in the moment.
- Stopping work at 6pm.
One intentional default Iāve been setting myself is to walk from my flat to the studio every day. Iām basically training myself to see this as the ānew normalā in my life.
š 2. Lower the Bar
On to my next piece of life advice: lower the bar.
This is my best strategy for dealing with procrastination. Usually, if I’m procrastinating it’s because Iām setting my standards too high, being a perfectionist.
Hereās something Seth Godin says in his mini-article āWrite somethingā:
Thereās no such thing as writerās block. Thereās simply a fear of bad writing. Do enough bad writing and some good writing is bound to show up.– Seth Godin
If you think you have writer’s block and you canāt write anything good, show me all the bad writing you did. Chances are, you haven’t done any bad writing because your standards are so high. And thatās why you haven’t created anything yet.
When you find yourself unable to start, thatās your cue to lower the bar. Just try to embrace the thought that āthis thing is going to suckā. And that’s okay. Because once you get started, it’s way easier to continue going. And youāll usually find that whatever you created wasnāt actually that bad.
š© 3. Embrace Mediocrity
I also think we should straight-upĀ embrace mediocrityĀ in lots of areas of our life.
This idea comes from Oliver Burkeman’s fantastic bookĀ Four Thousand Weeks. In theĀ world of productivityĀ we tend to think we could doĀ everythingĀ we want ā if only we had the right tools and systems.
But in reality, there arenāt enough hours in the day to do everything. We have to embrace mediocrity in some parts of our life, so we can actually focus on the handful of things thatĀ really matterĀ to us.
Iāve embraced mediocrity in a couple of ways at work. I donāt take this website as seriously as I could, for example. Or TikTok. And Iām not very active on LinkedIn. Instead, I focus on writing my book, making videos, andĀ teaching people how to be YouTubers.
Itās all about setting priorities, and accepting that you canāt do everything perfectly.
š§ 4. Work with Background Music
This makes studying, working, and household chores way more fun. And life in general starts feeling higher energy.
When I was living in Cambridge I had my Alexa smart speaker set up, and Iād roam the house blasting Taylor Swift and Ed Sheeran. Something about having music on in the background just really, really energises me.
And when I turn on music at work, itās like an injection of energy into the room that makes me feel way more creative. So I massively recommend blasting the tunes when you get a chance.
š 5. Quantity and Consistency = Quality
This next piece of life advice wonāt be new to anyone whoās into personal development, or read books likeĀ Atomic Habits.
But itās worth saying again: quantity and consistency generally lead to quality:
š¼ļø If you want to get good at painting, do 100 paintings.
š¬ If you want to get good at making YouTube videos, make 100 videos.
The things you create might well suck, but you’llĀ get better at making them. Put in the reps.
I made this mistake when I was dabbling with songwriting. Iād be very precious about a single song, and try to perfect it. And to this day, I’ve written maybe 0.5 songs, because I never embraced this attitude of quantity leading to quality.
To get good at something, just show up consistently, and don’t worry too much about the outcome.
šØāšØ 6. Quantity and Consistency = Creativity
Quantity and consistency also lead toĀ creativity. For the last 25 years or so, Seth Godin has published a short articleĀ every single dayĀ on his blog. Thatās just wild.
I think the more you consistently do creative things, the more creativity starts flows from inside you, and you get more inspired. Ed SheeranĀ says this about songwriting, and Neil Gaiman about writing: creativity is a bit like an old tap. You have to turn it on and let all of the crap flow out first (sometimes for a long time) before you get a flow of clean water. You have to get all the junk out of your system.
š 7. Send Thank You Notes
My seventh piece of life advice is quite simple, but massively underrated.
Basically, send thank you notes, especially physical ones. Itāll feel really good, not only for you, but also for the person youāve just thanked. So I have a long stack of thank you cards with stamps and envelopes, and I try to post those off whenever the mood strikes. I haven’t yet found a postbox that’s close enough to my house that itās super low friction⦠But there’s something about sending a handwritten note that feels amazing.
š©ļø 8. Planning ā Doing
Planning and doing are very different things. And itās important to realise this. The metaphor I like to use (that myĀ brother TaimurĀ came up with) is āthe pilot and the planeā.
At some moments of the day, we should be the pilot. We’re just planning what to do with our day. But then for the rest of the day, we should be the plane. Just executing on the orders of the pilot, without think too hard aboutĀ whyĀ weāre doing this stuff.
Think about going to the gym and not having a plan. Youād just do a few random exercises, then sit on your phone and scroll, because itās too much effort to planĀ andĀ do at the same time. But, if you come up with a plan before going to the gym, you can just be the plane once you arrive, and execute on the pilot’s orders.
š§ 9. Choose to be Satisfied
Like a lot of other high-achieving productivity bros, I tend to finish the day feeling like I haven’t done enough. Wondering if I could have been more efficient, more productive, and spent less time scrolling through social media.
But this weird pattern of dissatisfaction just makes me feel bad and leads to negative spirals. It also ignores the reality that I usually getĀ somethingĀ done on any given day.
So, what Iāve realised is that I canĀ make the choice to feel satisfiedĀ with the progress I’ve made. The situation wonāt change, but Iāll have different, better feelings about it.
ā” 10. Move Towards What Energises You
Whether itās work, hobbies, or relationships, we should gravitate towards the things that energise, instead of us drain us. This is a useful mental model for almost every situation.
Let’s say I’ve been invited to a party and I’m thinking āmeh, I don’t really feel like itā. The question I ask myself is āwill going to this party energise me, or will it drain my energy?ā Sometimes, even if I donāt really feel like going, Iāll drag myself out of the house because I know itāll be energising. And Iāll usually have a great time. But if I know the party will drain me, itās easy to opt out.
Itās just one question, but pretty powerful: āwill this energise me, or drain me?ā
š° 11. Fantasy Fiction Books are Amazing
My next piece of life advice is to try reading more fantasy fiction.
Fantasy fiction books are absolutely amazing. Everyone who Iāve recommended the Mistborn series by Brandon Sanderson to has absolutely loved it and become a Brandon Sanderson fanboy for life. In fact I had a chat with the man himself on my Deep Dive podcast.
If you’re looking to get into audiobooks, Stardust by Neil Gaiman is a good call – he narrates the audiobook himself as well, and he’s an amazing narrator. So, if you’re looking to get into fantasy fiction, I 100% recommend those. I actually have a video where I discussĀ my favourite fantasy books.
š 12. Donāt Wipe Your Face with a Bath Towel
Very solid life advice: always wipe your face with a different towel to the one you use in the shower. The one you use in the shower goes into weird places, and you donāt want that on your face. Itāll cause you to break out in spots and stuff.
I’ve actually found that my skin’s a lot clearer since I started using dedicated face towels. And if Iām out and about without access to face towel, Iāll sort of pat my face dry with my hand once Iām out of the shower.
š§“13. Have a Skincare Routine
Iāve been chatting a lot to my friend Usama, who’s a dermatologist based in New York.
š As a dermatologist, I think 95% of the truly scientific skincare tips that you should know can fit into one Tweet thread. All Instagram/YouTube/TikTok skincare education videos just repackage a few core principles with different dances/ brand names. Let me prove it… š§µ 1/
ā Usama (@usamasyedMD) January 22, 2022
And he said that basically, the earlier you start caring about your skin the better itāll look over time. So now I have a proper skincare routine.
In a nutshell:
š§“ Wear sunscreen every day of the year, ideally SPF 50.
š§ Always moisturise, especially after showering.
šŖ Look into retinoids, theyāll help your skin stay plump and young-looking.
šæ Use a good cleanser, but thatās a bit more optional.
People have even started commenting on how nice my skin looks since I started doing this about 6 months ago. Hereās a whole video I made on my skincare routine:
ā° 14. Wake Up at the Same Time Every Day
My next piece of life advice is to try to wake up at the same time every day.
There’s a lot of compelling evidence that says that long lie-ins and irregular sleeping will mess up your sleep rhythms. So itās best to power through and get up at your usual time, even if you didnāt get enough sleep the previous night.
If you stick to a regular waking time, youāll fall into a good rhythm and naturally feel like going to sleep/getting up at the same time every day. Thatās because your circadian and adenosine rhythms are syncing up – check out thisĀ Huberman Lab podcast episode on sleepĀ for more detailed information.
On days where I stay up late and have a lie-in the next morning, I have less energy during the day than if Iād just woken up as normal, but with 5-6 hours of sleep.
š15. Keep a Kindle (Not a Phone) on Your Bedside Table
I’ve been doing this for a while now. And since Iāve mentioned it in my videos, a lot of people have got back to me to say that itās changed their life as well.
Basically ā donāt keep your phone by your bedside table. Keep it across the room from you, and instead have a Kindle on your nightstand. Thereās no option for scrolling through Twitter or Instagram. All you can do is:
- Read on the Kindle on warm light mode
- Go to sleep
š« 16. Donāt Press the āTry Harder Buttonā
If I’m struggling to get something done, I usually find myself wanting to press theĀ try harder button.
The try harder button is basically where you tell yourself āI’m going to try harder, I’m just going to be more disciplined, I’ll have more grit and determination.ā But it almost never works, because itās broadly unsustainable.
It’s easy to convince ourselves that weāre Superman, and thatĀ tomorrowĀ weāll have this incredible amount of willpower and discipline. But that’s never going to happen.
Itās usually better to figure out how we can tweak our systems or environment so we don’tĀ needĀ to try.Ā Atomic HabitsĀ by James Clear is the bible on how to do this.
š 17. Monetising Your Passions Is Fun
People often say that you should never monetise your passion – donāt open a bakery just because you like making pies.
But actually, monetising your passion can be really fun, especially on a small scale. For example, I used to be a close-up magician. I spent the first two years of my magic obsession just practising in front of a webcam or a mirror. But it was only when I tried to monetise it, and went outside of my comfort zone to book my first restaurant gig (an absolute disaster) and perform at parties that I took my magic (and social) skills to the next level.
Monetising my hobby made it more fun by raising the stakes.
š 18. ā¦Except When Itās Not
But monetising your passionsĀ canĀ sometimes take away the fun. Iāve spoken to a bunch of YouTubers who really enjoyed videos when they were part-time. But then when they switched to doing YouTube full-time, suddenly it became a job. And when money becomes a motive, it can crowd out your other more noble or interesting intentions (like āliving a creative lifeā etc).
The solution here is to diversify. Try not to make your passion your only source of income, and find other outlets for your creative interests (ok, hobbies I guess) that are less high-stakes.
šµ 19. Aim to Retire Early
This life advice is something I’ve beenĀ thinking about a lot recently. Something Naval Ravikant says is:
Retirement is when you stop sacrificing today for an imaginary tomorrow. When today is complete, in and of itself, youāre retired. You retire by saving up enough money, becoming a monk, or by finding work that feels like play to you.
So if we agree with Navalās definition, retirement sounds pretty good. And there are three ways of getting there:
- Make so much money that you can just be retired because you don’t have to work anymore.
- Spend so little money, that you can retire to live a monk-like existence.
- Do work that you love so much, youād do it for free.
What I’m trying to do is some kind of combination of all three. Make a lot of money, lower my expenses, and do work that I find fun.
š 20. Enjoy Each Day on its Own Merits
I think itās really important to enjoy each day on its own merits, rather than seeing it as a stepping stone to something greater. Like, āif I spend all day grinding at X task, then Iāll be able to do Yā (what Naval talks about above, āsacrificing today for an imaginary tomorrowā.
I saw this a lot in medical school. Studying medicine can be really hard, dry, and boring. But people think that when they become a doctor, then life will be fun. When they actuallyĀ doĀ become a doctor though, life is generally a lot less fun than in medical school.
So I think itās important to change your mindset, to try to enjoy each day and the present moment on its own merits. Itās good to work towards your goals. But in some ways, itās an even better feeling to say āI know this day was goodā.
š 21. Take the Social Initiative
This piece of life advice will give you superpowers –Ā alwaysĀ take the initiative in social situations.
Iāve always been the one to organise events, invite friends over for a board games night, or make the first move in a romantic situation. Thereās always an element of vulnerability here, because you have to open yourself up to rejection. But people love to be asked to hang out, and whenever Iāve taken the initiative, Iāve always felt āoh, wow, this is amazing.ā
This thing would not have happened if I hadnāt organised it, and taken the social initiative.
š 22. Invest in Your Relationships
InĀ How Will You Measure Your Life, Clay Christensen notes that most successful people chronically under-invest in their personal relationships.
He talks about how his year of MBA graduates were all super-smart and built high-flying careers. They were successful by any traditional metric. But at their 30-year reunion, Clay said that loads of them seemed depressed, and several were separated from their families. Some were even in prison.
So Clay asks, why did so many of these smart bright people go down unhappy paths? He concludes that most of this comes from a failure to invest in relationships. We should build better bonds with the people we love.
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ā 23. Default to Non-Work
One thing Clay says – that I’m trying to remind myself of more often – is that itās wise to default to non-work activities when you have a spare hour.
Work leads to immediate, tangible benefits. But while putting that same effort into relationships doesnāt have that immediate payoff, itās a long-term investment that gives compounding interest.
So recently, whenever Iāve had a spare hour in the evening Iāve tried to spend that time talking with friends, messaging, and going for walks. Not ploughing more energy into my work life.
šļø 24. Exercise in the Morning
I tend to feel way more energised when I’ve done some kind of exercise in the morning.
Itās a massive no-brainer, especially if you exercise outdoors, because:
- It wakes you up, gets the blood flowing.
- You have more energy for the rest of the day.
- You feel less incentive to do unhealthy stuff for the rest of the day.
- You donāt need to workout in the evening when youāre tired.
š¤ 25. The Sting of Rejection is Better than the Pain of Regret
The sting of rejection isĀ almost alwaysĀ way better than the pain of regret. So shoot your shot. It can be a bit meh dealing with rejection, but itās a lot better than always wondering āwhat ifā. This is some of the best life advice I’ve ever come across.
My friend Evie evenĀ keeps a spreadsheetĀ of all the rejections she gets in life, treating it like a game to get as many as possible.
Because if youāre not getting rejected fairly consistently, youāre not really pushing yourself to succeed.
š” 26. Even Your Favourite Books Get One-Star Ratings
I heard someone say once that when theyāre procrastinating they look through Amazon and Goodreads for one-star reviews of their favourite books.
There’s something very therapeutic about that. It helps you see that everyoneās taste is different, and even the books you think are frickinā amazing have their haters and one-star reviews.
As it gets closer to the release date of my book, I think this is something Iāll have to inoculate myself against. All I can do is just show up, be authentic, and write something that I find interesting.
š 27. Work on Trains
I travel on trains whenever I can, mainly because theyāre a great place to get work done. In fact, trains are a bit like time travel. Itās like being at your desk at home, but youāreĀ alsoĀ travelling effortlessly towards your destination.
And when I arrive, Iām just like ādamn, I’m in Edinburgh now. And I’ve just made good progress on my work for the last four hours. Howād that happen?ā
āļø 28. Journey Before Destination
My final piece of life advice is to always focus onĀ journey before destination. Thatās a quote fromĀ Brandon Sandersonās Stormlight Archive series.
You have to have a destination of some kind: thereās no journey without a destination. But once you’ve set a destination, itās usually best to forget about it, and focus on the journey. Enjoy the present moment. I talked about this in a recent Deep Dive podcast with Sahil Bloom:
thereās a reason I love the phrase ājourney before destinationā so much.
I spoke to @SahilBloom about his switch from pro baseball player to a career as a creator, investor and entrepreneur on this episode of Deep Dive š https://t.co/ztVYjcA7ro pic.twitter.com/YqoHYUeG6s
ā Ali Abdaal (@AliAbdaal) August 4, 2022
If you liked this article, hereās a whole ābest life adviceā video I made. Enjoy š
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