5 Life Lessons I Wished I’d Learned Before 30

Hey friends,

Before we get into today’s email, I have a quick announcement: as we’re nearly 6 months into 2024 and many of us have long-forgotten our New Year’s Resolutions, I’m hosting a free Q3 Alignment Workshop from 3-5pm BST on Sunday 30 June where we’ll be revisiting our 2024 goals, deciding what we want to accomplish over the next few months, and turning it all into a custom action plan. If this sounds like fun, you can register for the free workshop here 📆

Anyway, as you might recall, a few weeks ago, I wrote my “turning 30” issue, in which I shared the 30 lessons I learned in my 30s.

In that same email, I asked, “What’s one thing you wish someone had told you when you turned 30?” to those who are “older and wiser” than me, and I was pretty blown away by the responses.

So this week, I’ll share some of my favourite five pieces of advice. These are real gems, and I hope you find them as valuable as I did.

Things my readers wish someone had told them when they turned 30:

Miguel is a 47-year-old husband, father, teacher and therapist from Barcelona.

‘There is no such thing as a perfect present moment to wait for. Things that do not meet your standards of perfection will always be part of your life. Don’t expect that something you obtain in life will eventually be the missing piece you need to be happy.’

My reflection: I love this. There are so many instances where I find myself thinking: “When X happens, then I’ll be able to do Y”. Like: “Oh, once my calendar becomes clearer, then I’ll have time to go for a walk each day”. Or “Once I really figure out where I’m going to live for the long-term, then I’ll make time to play squash with people”.

Over time, I’ve trained myself to immediately respond to that thought with the counter-thought of: “Is that what’s really stopping you from doing this right now? In the future you’re likely to be just as busy, so if this thing is important to you, why not act right now?”

Virender is a 38-year-old VP of Marketing from India.

‘The most important things anyone should learn is how to manage & have effective communication with people- professionally or personally, including empathy as well. There are 2 highly recommended books you can read: Multipliers by Liz Wiseman & Non-violent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg. Both books are life-changing books.’

My reflection: I’ve actually read both these books, multiple times, and gotten immense value out of them. But hearing Virender’s recommendation makes me want to revisit them. If you haven’t yet read either of those books, they’ve got both mine and Virender’s stamp of approval 🙂

Susan is 61. She lives in Florida with her husband, whom she met online playing video games over 10 years ago. She’s a database developer, a mother, and a grandmother.

‘My advice would be to “Go for it!” Studying, thinking, praying, and otherwise putting off what you could be doing today is a waste of time. Life tends to interfere, and you will look back and regret what you did not do.’

My reflection: This checks out. It vibes with the general wisdom of “we only tend to regret the things we didn’t do, rather than the things we did do”.

Trent is a 43-year-old, husband and father of 2 daughters, a Doctor of Physical Therapy who mentors and educates Residents and Fellows of Physical Therapy.

‘It’s all about the “Explanatory Model”. I learned this term from a mentor of mine, and when I heard it, I thought, “That sounds dumb”. It’s the idea that you must know how a patient is explaining their current situation to themselves before you can treat them. The reason I thought it was dumb was the name. But it changed everything. Not just in my work but in my relationships.

You can’t just understand what a person is telling you. You can’t just understand what their current emotional state is. You need to know the best you can how they are actually explaining their situation to themselves. With patients we do this with Motivational Interviewing. With my family it’s through just trust and intimacy.’

Jackie is an (almost) 40-year-old Regional Marketing Consultant, managing projects in Arusha, Nairobi, Dar Es Salaam, and Zanzibar.

‘As you step into your 30s, let me share a piece of advice: this decade is your time for true reflection. You’ll face the outcomes of choices you made when you were younger, affecting everything from your relationships and career to friendships. It’s a powerful time that, if well-managed, can be incredibly transformative. Be gentle with yourself, forgive, and don’t hesitate to reinvent your life if necessary. Now is your moment!’

A huge thank you to everyone who sent in life advice.

Have a great week!

Ali xx

❤️ My favourite things this week

🎥 YouTube Video: I Used 500 Drones for my Wedding Speech – I teared up watching fellow YouTuber Arun Maini (Mrwhosetheboss) give an incredibly heartfelt, emotional speech at his wedding, complete with a light show from 500 drones. It’s so nice.

📚 Book: How to Live on 24 Hours a Day – This is a very short, highly entertaining book about time management first published in 1908(!). I thoroughly enjoyed reading the author (Arnold Bennett)’s advice about now squandering your morning and evening commute by reading the newspaper but instead to cultivate your mind during those minutes.