Why is asking for help so hard?

Hey friends,

My life-changing lesson these last few weeks has been asking people for help.

I’ve always been a solve-your-own-problems kind of guy. Which definitely has it’s perks. You get to learn to do new things. There’s even some sort of pleasure in accomplishments after struggling with them first.

But I’ve recently come to learn that there’s also a thing such as unncessary pain. No matter what you’re struggling with, there’s probably someone you know (or know of) that’s brilliant at it.

Ben Hardy put this brilliantly in his book. Ask ‘Who?’ not ‘How?’

Being a massive ‘How?’ guy thus far, this switch was quite hard. I know I can figure things out on my own. Given enough time, I’ll probably understand or find what I’m looking for. I don’t want to bother others. And although this is true, it’s not the point.

So instead of asking “How can I do this?”, I’ve started to think”Who do I know who can help me with this?” whenever I’m trying something new. For example, I’ve been asking my friends for help in brainstorming ideas for my book. It’s been brilliant. We get to attack my points from many angles, and quickly see what has the potential to work and what doesn’t.

Lots of this wouldn’t have been possible if I hadn’t been putting myself out there to start with. Thanks to the power of Twitter, I’ve become friends with published authors who’ve been through the process and have been so kind as to offer their help. This is just one of the many ways in which being active on Twitter has helped my life.

So two things I’d like to leave you with today are:

1. What is something you’re currently working on you could ask someone for help with?
2. How can you supercharge your connections with people through the internet or otherwise?

Have a great week!

Ali

PS: If you want to follow along on my book journey, please join my book mailing list. I’ll email updates every few weeks, including some sample chapters etc.

My Favourite Things this Week

1 – Book – Models. Mark Manson is one of my favourite writers. His book on how to ‘be more attractive’ is based on the groundbreaking premise that you can do so through honesty rather than games. I first read it in 2011 and it was very helpful in navigating life in university. I picked it up again last night, and although the new edition has many changes, the premise and value remains the same.

2- Drawing – I’ve been working on my dream of being able to draw concept art, and amazingly, I’m seeing some progress in my figure drawing. I’ve also become addicted to watching YouTube videos of others drawing. You can check my tweet, and feel free to disagree on the progress part.

Quote of the Week

“There is no limit to the amount of good you can do if you don’t care who gets the credit.” —Ronald Reagan

From Who Not How, Dan Sullivan and Benjamin Hardy. Resurfaced using Readwise.

Tweet of the Week

friend: how’s unemployed life?
me: pic.twitter.com/RIb5TBclBd

— Ali Abdaal (@AliAbdaal) January 27, 2021

This week’s videos